Paper work has been my game and I have been trying to stay in the game for as many minutes as possible. The second Main stage show, The Last Romance by Joe Dipietro, opened last night at FST and a party followed. This show was much simpler and to be honest I really did little after the measurements were taken. A couple hems and quick rigging here and there but that's it. A big change from tech weeks with N2N. Highlight of this show would for sure have to be the making of the opening night dress for the star of the show. And! My boss and I only had one day to do it! Mind you we cranked it out and even had time to make her matching earrings and a bracelet. The little puppy looked as cute as a button. Yes, a Shih Tzu dress will be going in my professional portfolio. She was pretty in pink and had more rhinestones than any dog should ever have. Pictures soon.
This is where a new chapter in a book would happen and this one would be where things get heavy until the next chapter when everything is fixed and you go get ice cream like after parents fight (long story that only a few will understand, sorry for those that don't, we can talk). Long story short, without boring you all to death, I have recently been missing a friend here and the other party seems to think it is due to me not sharing and "not living my own life". Do I have all the answers and live without safety as a big part of any of my thoughts? Not at all. I guess I see myself as one that it pretty good about always trying to see both sides of a issue or even creating more than you sides. When I am told that this problem is my fault, that they haven't changed one bit and that they are the same person I met on day one, and that I'm the one that has distanced myself, created walls, and am crippling my career, I hurt. Am I wrong for asking to talk...AND NOT thru texting? I am talker with my problems and issues. Does it suck sometimes and take time? Yeah. Am I willing to do anything for however long needed to fix a squall? You bet. I see that every person is made of different life thread and are sewn together differently with the lives they have lived, but I also see that we all run on the same machine of life. I am fully willing to do things someone else’s way but isn’t it a two way deal? Talking isn’t easy for all I get it! But don't expect a 5 minute car ride, high top bar table chat in a busy bar, or a counter lean while my pasta is boiling to be enough time to cover an issue that is far bigger than missing you.
I don’t have the answers and I don’t know what I want in life. I believe we never will and that is why we live and try and figure it out along the way. These last couple of days has been rough and the holidays are right around the corner. I miss my family and friends and would give anything to be with them during this time when I often find it hard to always be happy. And I get that happy is supposed to be the way we all should be. Maybe putting a Christmas tree with Blake on Sunday will help a bit.
When I say I miss you I mean it. And trust that I think about home everyday. I am blessed with people that love me and support me. I guess that’s why I hurt so much when one of those people is off in the distance and I guess it’s my fault.
Now, haha aren’t you glad you logged on today to read this happy little rant without out even one fun picture?